The Most Common Sexual Fantasies Everyone Has

What kind of fantasies get you off? Having aggressive sex with someone you’ve just met? Putting on a full-on bondage gear? Or banging all the babes in your local brothel?

Everyone has different sexual fantasies. Everyone has their own little dream world and it’s what makes them so special. However, a lot of common sexual fantasies make us burn with lust. A social psychologist, Dr. Justin Lehmiller asked more than 4000 Americans in order to find out what are the most common sexual fantasies people hold. He hoped that by finding out, a lot of people will feel less weird about sharing what turns them on.

Feeling weird and abnormal is one of the greatest sources of anxiety that hold people back from living a sex life they want. Justin’s goal was to make it easier for people to have open conversations. So what did he find? What are the most common fantasies one could embrace? Maybe you’ll feel more open about sharing them during your next visit to your favorite brothel. In fact, a lot of brothels are already offering them as a service.

Feeling Wanted

Everyone wants to feel wanted because it makes them feel beautiful. So, it’s only normal that people fantasize about sex that makes them feel irresistible, desired and a fantastic partner in bed. It doesn’t matter whether it happens with their partners or anyone else.


BDSM is becoming increasingly popular all around the world. In fact, about 65% of the people asked were fantasizing about experiencing pain from biting, spanking, whipping or hot wax. Most people like the idea of giving full control to their partner.

This means using gags, handcuffs and a whip is a go. Naturally, everyone would enjoy these to varying degrees. But most people would like to bring a bit of fetish play into their sex lives.

Pair of handcuffs

Multi-Partner Sex

It comes as no surprise that 89% of people fantasize about having a threesome, foursome or group sex. We’re not talking about 50 person orgies here, just some casual shared sex. In fact, most straight women were quite open to having sex with two men.

Public Sex

One fantasy that kept coming up over and over again in the survey is the idea of having sex in public. Women were especially excited about doing it in a public place where they could get caught. The best places to do it are parks, offices or inside a lift.

To be smart about it: Be mindful of local laws and be careful about security cameras. In some countries, you can get massive fines for having sex in public or even kissing.

Quick Info: If you’re curious about some strange and absurd sex laws, check out our article about them:

Sex In Open Relationships

In total 62% of women and 79% of men were fantasizing about having sex in an open relationship without rules. Furthermore, less than 1% fantasized about cheating on their partner, because there is a lot of guilt associated with the act.

However, around 58% admitted that they would enjoy watching their partner having sex with other people.

Having Sex With the Same Sex

A lot of women these days would prefer to play around a little with other girls. In fact, 58% of women admitted that they fantasize about having sex with women. While only 26% of straight men admitted that had fantasies of having sex with other men.


Neither of these is too strange for anyone not to accept them. However, a lot of people are still very closed minded about with whom and how they should have sex. So, it might be up to you to put them at ease and open them up to something new. Just know that everyone has weird fantasies and nobody is as normal as they try to make themselves to be.

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