Become Better At Talking To Sex Workers With These 6 Tips

Sex workers are people too and there’s a high chance you’ll meet one socially. It might feel awkward, but the situation is actually quite easy to handle.

If you meet a sex worker you like, you’ll definitely want to have a proper conversation with her. Often enough, if it’s strange or awkward to meet a sex worker socially. It gets even worse if you feel bad about feeling awkward. Sex workers know that what they are doing is unconventional. They don’t expect anyone to be all open about their career of choice. They just want to be treated as any other person. You don’t have to be too touchy, just don’t ask a sex worker about STDs while you’re eating.

To make things more comprehensive, here are a few pointers on how to talk to sex workers inside and outside of a brothel.

They Won’t Get Mad Because Of Your Opinion About Prostitution

Naturally, this might vary from person to person. But an intelligent sex worker will definitely know that people have different opinions about everything, let alone prostitution. Also, they have met enough judgements to not give a fuck about yours. So just open up about your opinions by all means. As long as you’re not purposefully offensive, she won’t take it personally.

Know That They Have Control

Most people look at prostitutes as victims of society or sex trafficking. It is indeed true that plenty of women suffer because of sex trafficking and because of their cultural background. Most self-identified sex workers have their lives together. They are sex workers out of choice and nobody’s forcing them to do it.

If you meet a young stripper, cam girl or prostitute in a big city, it’s safe to say that they are in control of their lives. You can analyze why they made their choice to be a sex worker but it really doesn’t matter. You should just be chill enough to accept them and be truthful with them. The girl you meet is probably similar to the rest of your friends. She might be just as confused and have a wild perspective on life.

Try to Be Encouraging

This is the best thing to do if you really don’t know what to say. It’s is similar to any other social situation, especially when you’re talking to a girl. Often enough you don’t know what the hell she’s talking about. Is she upset, or is she excited about what happened? Maybe she doesn’t know what the hell you’re talking about.

The best thing to do is to just listen. Ask her to tell you more and nod encouragingly. She’ll move on and you’ll be one step closer to making friends, since you gave her the most important thing you can give. Your attention.

She Wasn’t Always a Sex Worker

A lot of people have a preconceived notion of sex workers. They might think they’re runaways or they’re so desperate for money that they can only sell their bodies. In reality, they are quite confident people. More confident than a lot of regular people.  It’s unnecessary to try to pick her brain and find out if she’s feeling emotionally good about her job or not.

In the past she definitely had other jobs, but realized that this pays way better. She isn’t a sex worker above all else. It’s a job that pays money, like you do yours does. You don’t necessarily have to tie much of a philosophy to it.

People standing in a bar.

Quick Info: VICE has done many interviews with sex workers who all shared their opinions on the topic. Here they are if you want to add more context to your read:

Know that Everyone Complains About Their Job

If you hear a sex worker complaining about her job, it isn’t because it’s deeply depravating. It’s because everyone has something in their job that’s worth complaining about. Everyone has hard days for many reasons. She might have late clients or clients who cry too much about their emotions. Sometimes she has to work with guys who she hates and it’s only normal she talks about it as a way of processing those emotions. Even though she’s bitching about these things, she is still completely okay. She isn’t talking about them to put you off or anything. The best way to follow up is to start bitching about your job.


Your relationship with sex workers will be much better once you learn to treat them like regular girls pursuing a job they do out of their own choice. It will get even better once you learn to let go and see yourself in them.

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